The Dragonslayers Day Off!!
by goddess1
Summary: ever wonder what Dilly and his dragonslayers do on their days off?
1. Default Chapter Title

"Dilly? Dilly-poo! Dillykins! Uppey uppey! Time to wakey! Come on Dilly-pie!" Chesta cooes as he gently shakes Dilandaus shoulder.  
  
Dilandau rolls over, his arm flailing in the air. "Go away Chesta!" He smacks him half heartedly.  
  
"But Dilly-pie! You wanted to wake you up early so you wouldnt miss the "All My Bishonen" marathon!"Chesta whimpers.  
  
*smack* Dilandau's hand finds its way to Chestas cheek again.  
  
"OW! Oh, okay, now Im ignoring you!"Chesta whins as he walks away.  
  
"Wait! Chesteekins!"Dilandau yells. Chesta turned around. "Could you get me a glass of nestle quick?? Im thirsty and All My Bishonen is so much better with a tall glass-o-chokolate-milk and some fudge!"  
  
Chesta rolled his eyes. "Fine. But Im still ignoring you!"  
  
"AND HES GONNA GET LOVE HANDLES!!!"Migel yelled from down the hall.  
  
Dilandau sits up and crosses his arms. "Hmph"  
  
"MORE CUSION FOR THE PUSHIN'!!!" Chesta yells back at Migel. Then he goes and gets Dilandau some chokolate milk. He comes back, and Dilandau is glued to the T.V. screen.  
  
"Here you go Dilly-pie, are we a happy little Pyromaniac now?"Chesta says in a gooey voice.  
  
"Yes we are."Dilandau turns to Chesta, a chokolate milk mustage above his lip. He starts scratching Chesta behing his ear, Chestas leg starts thumping the ground and his tunge lolls out of the side of his mouth. "Whos a good little dragonslayer? Whos a good wittle dwagonswayer? Yous is! Wes woos is!!"  
  
"Dilandau?"Folken walks into the room.  
  
"Wes?"Dilandau looks up, and stops scratching Chestas ear, Chestas leg stops thumping. He clears his throught "I mean, 'yes'?"  
  
Folken gives him a weird look and walks away.  
  
"Your just jelous because YOU have GIRLS!!"Dilandau shrieks after Folken, then continues scratching Chestas ear. "Whos a good wittow dwagonswayer? yous is!" 


	2. Default Chapter Title

And so, it is lunch time. The dragonslayers have all gathered in the mess hall for some Kraft Dinner.  
  
"But I wanted Chef Boyardee!"Gatti whines.   
  
Guimel bitch slaps him. "Kraft dinner is the best! Dont you DARE insult Kraft dinner!"  
  
Gatti glares at Guimel and bitch-slaps him back. "Dont hit me you he-bitch man-slut!"  
  
"Hey!"Migel whins as he sits down beside Gatti. "I thought I was Dilly-kins he-bitch man-slut?!"  
  
"Shut up!"*Whap!* Migel gets bitch-slapped by both Guimel and Gatti.  
  
"Im glad none of you try slapping MY beutifull face"Dalet says in a sing-song voice as he plunks himself down, an apple on his plate and a V-8 Splash in his hand. His face was covered in green goop, and his hair was in curlers.  
  
"Whats that on your face?"Migel asks as he takes a huge bite of glowing Kraft Dinner.  
  
"I need to stay beutifull, im exfoliating. Teen Bishonen magazine says girls like guys who are sensitive, and have nice pores!"   
  
*sweatdrop* "Oh brother, thats almost as bad as Dillys love handles"Migel mutters.  
  
"Dilly doesnt have love handles!"Chesta protests as he sits down beside Dalet, whos busy munching on a carrot that apeared out of no where. Chestas wearing a superman outfit.  
  
"What are you WEARING?" Gatti cries as Chesta puffs out his chest.  
  
"Im superchesta!"  
  
*sweatdrop*"Im leaving that one alone"Gatti mutters.  
  
"Whos a wittow dwagonswayer?" Migel ,Guimel, and Gatti all look up to see Dalet scratching Chestas ear and talking in a baby voice.  
  
"AUGH!"Guimel screams as he runs out of the room.  
  
"WHATS WRONG?!?!?!"Migel screams after him.  
  
"I FORGOT MY POOKIE!!!!"  
**thats his stuffed lamb**  
  
"So, wheres Dilly-poo?"Gatti asks, a huge gob of Kraft Dinner lands on Dalets nose.   
  
"Still holed up in his room, eating fudge and drinking chokolate milk while watching All My Bishonen. But he made me get him his pink fuzzy bunny p.j's first"Chesta replied.  
  
"The ones with the little ears and white fluffy tail and the little booties?"Migel wonders out loud.  
  
"Yep!"Chesta nods.  
  
Sudenly loud music begins playing from some misterious place.   
  
^^MACHO MACHO MAN! I WANT TO BE A MACHO MAN!^^   
  
"MACHO MACHO MAN!"And out pops Dilly-kins, in his pink bunny p.j's dancing around to "macho man" 


	3. Default Chapter Title

"CHESTEEEEEE-PIE!"Dilandau cheeres as he thrusts his pelvis, HUH! Thrust yer pelvis. (yes, I have been watching to much Duckman). "COME DANCE WITH ME YOU MACHO MACHO DRAGONSLAYER!"  
  
Chesta puffs out his er... chest, and swaggles up to Dilandau, whos stage was really just a table. "MACHO MACHO DRAGONSLAYER! I WANT TO BE A MACHO MACHO DRAGONSLAYER!"  
  
Gatti starts chokeing on his Kraft Dinner. *sweatdrop* "What ARE they doing? And Is Dilly wearing PINK bunny ears?"  
  
"OH MY COW!"Migel screams. "Dilly's wearing a pink HOODIE! WITH Bunny ears!"  
  
Chesta stops uhm... thrusting his pelvis, and watches Dilandau dance around, singing. "Go Dilly! Its your birthday! Get your groove on!" *sollie, I could just REALLY picture Chesta doing that*  
  
"I FOUND POOKIE!!"Guimel shreiks as he comes running into the room, a white fluffy lamb teddie under his arm.  
  
"Uhm..."Dilandau pauses. "Oh fuck! now Ive lost my groove!" He jumps off the table and bitch slaps Guimel.  
  
"Owie! Dilly-poo!"Guimel starts crying.  
  
"Oh Im sorry! Kiss make better?" Dilandau gives Guimel puppy eyes and Guimel looks away, hugging pookie to his chest.  
  
"Hmph"  
  
Suddenly a loud crashing sound comes from behind Dilandau, he turns around, and theres Gatti, sprawled on the floor, tables and chairs tipped over in a path behind him.   
  
"KISS MAKE BETTER!"Gatti screams as he starts crying.  
  
"SUPERCHESTA WILL SAVE YOU!"Chesta yells as he flys into the air and swoops over to Gatti. Then the string attached to his superchesta suit breaks and he falls to the ground. "ooow"  
  
"Oh... Chestee-pie! Kiss make better!?"Dilandau crawls over to Chesta, who just so happened to land on top of Gatti. Chesta whimpers and bursts into tears. "Ohhh! Whos a wittow dwagonswayer!?! Whos a tuff wittow dwagonswayer?! Chestee is! Yes yous is! Yes yous is!" Dilandau scratches Chesta behind his ears again.  
  
Chesta starts panting and thumps his foot on the floor again.  
  
"Hey! Im a wittow dwagonswayer too!"Gatti whins from under Chesta, but its sorta muffled considering his face is pressed into the floor from Chestas ass.  
  
"Yeah, but Chestas my bitch" Dilandau replied.  
  
"Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da! quack quack quack quack! Da da da da da da da da da da da da da! da da da da da da da da da da da da!!"  
  
"Is that? Yes it is! Its the BUNNY HOP!!" Dilandau and Chesta jump to their feet and suddenly everyones wearing pink fuzzy bunny ears, bow ties, white fluffy bunny tails, little bunny booties, and boxer... with fluffy bunnies all over them! Exept for Dilandau, hes special, hes wearing his bunny p.j's too. Yes, with the hoodie and the booties.   
  
They start cangaing around the room. Gatti still lies on the floor whinning. "But IM a wittow dwagonswayer!!" 


	4. Default Chapter Title

Its time off in the Zaibach Floating fortress... you all must be wondering what our faaaaaavorite little pyromaniac is doing huh? Well, all tuckered out from dancing to the bunny hop and singing "Macho man", hes curled up on his bed... in his pink fluffy bunnie p.j's... with Guimel's pookie.... sucking his thumb.  
  
Down the hall creeps a line of Dragonslayers... yes, Chesta is still in his superman outfit, and Dalet still has pink curlers in his hair.  
  
"Oh! DAMN Gatti!"Guimel whines. He stuck behind Gatti.   
  
"Butt shot"Dalet snickers from the back.  
  
"KYAAAAA!! ARE YOU LOOKING UP MY SKIRT?!!!???!"Gatti shrieks.  
  
"What skir-----"*SLAP*  
  
"You pervert!"  
  
"But I wasnt---"  
  
"Dont you dare try that again! Im not that kind of Dragonslayer!"  
  
"But I wasnt loo---"  
  
"You were trying to see my panties!"  
  
"But I wasnt looking up----"  
  
"Its not my fault your lacy ones got ruined by the Escaflowne Detergent!"  
  
"BUT I WASNT---"  
  
"So dont do it again mister!"  
  
"BUT I WASNT--"  
  
"Just GO!"Dalet pushes Guimel, and Gatti stops prancing around, to shoot one last death look at Guimel, before continuing to tip-toe along behind Chesta. But not before he fluffs his tutu,and sticks his tungue out at Guimel.   
(("Where did the tutu come from?" MY GODAMN IMAGINATION!! THATS WHERE!!! Oh! and by the way, thanks for reading up to here! I took the tutu out of uhm.. whatzit called... some people called it "hammerspace" *anyone care to explain that??* so yeah, Im exersizing my creative rights... wait... im only a teenager! I HAVE NO RIGHTS!! *damn you reality!!* ))  
  
They tip toe past Dilandau's room, and Chesta peeks in. Guimel pops his head over Chesta and starts whimpering "Pookie"  
  
"SHHHH!!"Dalet shushes, and they continue on, with ocassional shrieks from Gatti. ("KYAAAA!!! YOU LOOKED UP MY SKIRT AGAIN DIDNT YOU?!"*KICK*)  
  
"Hey!"Migel cries as he pokes his head out of his room. He looks down the hallway and sees the long line of Dragonslayers (Some in assorted Balet costumes... oooooh! Variety! ^_^)   
  
"SHHHH!!!"  
  
*KICK* "PERVERT!"  
  
"ooow! Gatti!"  
  
"Shut up Guimel!  
  
"You just looked up my skirt Dalet!"*KICK*  
  
"Owww!"  
  
"Now whos the one shutting up?"  
  
Gatti decides Guimel looks a but to smug, and gives him anouther kick, just to make sure he doesnt think about looking up his skirt again.  
  
"What are you guys doing?"Migel asks.  
  
"Were gonna go see if we can make Foken have an expression!"Chesta says as he jumps up and down like a little schoolgirl, clapping his hands.  
  
"Simmer down, there, Superchesta"Dalet mutters, while trying to replace a curler that was threatening to *gasp* uncurl.  
  
"Can I come?"Migel asks eagerly.  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"Great! Just wait for me to grab my snuffleuffagus!!"  
  
"Snuffleuffagus???"  
* * *  
Welcome back, to the extreemly warped mind, of me. Goddess Albatou.... okay, so Im Goddess Emmy, but I would love to be Goddess Emmy Albatou!! ME AND DILANDAU-SAMA COULD BURN EVERYTHING TOGETHER!!! *whimper* oh well... well! Im back... yes, I know... no one missed me! *sniff* oh well! ^_^ I hope I didnt offend anyone with this!! Thanks for reading!! And please review!! Oh!!! And check out my best buddies stories, her name is Zelas... and... she... RULES... OVER... ALL!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! no seriously though! Her writting is awsome, and DEFINATLY something you should check out!!! ^_^ come on! please? You wont regret it! Just search for her name in the thingie... okay? ^_^ okay! bye bye and smiles till tomorow! MOERO!!! 


	5. Default Chapter

Hello and welcome to anouther episode of...  
  
*"Bum bum bum bum!"  
*THWAP*  
Guimel:"Gatti, you do the WORST suspensfull moment music, you know that?"  
Gatti:"Well you didnt have to hit me!"  
*SLAP*  
Guimel:"OWW! Damn you Gatti!"  
Gatti:"Back to my ominous music ---"  
"BUM BUM BUM"  
Gatti:"hhheeeey! Guimel took my sound effe---"  
*THWAP THWAP*   
"SUPERCHESTA WILL AVENGE YOU BOTH"  
*whimper*  
Guimel:"That huuurt"  
Gatti:"My sound effects was ruined"  
Dilly:"SHUT UP!!!"  
Guimel and Gatti:"Sorry master Dilandau"  
*SLAP*  
"MOERO!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" -gee, wonder who said THAT?  
  
*AHEM?*  
Guimel, Gatti, Chesta and Dilly-babe:"Oh sorry miss author"  
Me:"Its okay, Ill have to spank you all later"(=^^= heh heh heh! I WISH!! =^^=)  
  
And now, its time for anouther episode of...  
  
Gatti:"BUM BUM BUM"  
*THWACK*  
  
DRAGONSLAYERS DAY OFF!!!!   
* * *  
"What in Gaea is a snuffleuffagus?"Dalet says in a perplexed voice. A curler falls in front of his eyes and he vainly pushes it away. Wouldnt wanna disturbe our veiw of his face now would we? *rolls eyes*  
  
"You do not want to know!!"Guimel cries as he runs off down the hall. The rest of the dragonslayers follow him, obviously bewildered at his behaviour.  
  
"Whats a snuffleuffagus?"Dalet whimpers as he prances down the hall behind Chesta.  
  
Guimel turns around and glares at Dalet evily. "Your worst nightmare" his voice came out a BIT higher than he intended.  
  
"Oh my god, you sounded like a chipmunk!!"And with that, the rest of the dragonslayers burst out laughing.  
  
"SHHHHH!!!"Gatti says suddenly, as he grabs Chestas arm and pulls him to a stop. The other dragonslayers walk into him and they all fall down like a line of dominoes.  
  
"Whazzat?"Vione says as he flicks his long curly brown hair away from his eyes, and blinks a couple times.   
  
"Its Folken!"Gatti whisperes as he peeks around the corner.   
  
Guimels head pops up above Gattis, and Chestas beneath his. They all look very eviiiil.  
  
"Shhh!"Gatti waves his hand much to exaduratingly, and whacks Dalets face, getting his hand stuck in a huge gob of green face goober stuff.  
  
"KYAAAA!" *girlish scream* Dalet starts thrashing around wildly and thus, gets himself and poor, innocent, definatly unsuspecting Gatti, even more stuck in the green face mask goober stuff.  
  
"SHHH!"*WHAP*  
  
"Oh shit on Escaflowne! Now IM stuck!"Viole whins as he tries, unsuccessfully, to pry his thigh from Dalets cheek.  
* * *  
Why was his thigh on Dalets cheek? Well... *ahem* *big proffessor voice* *Dalet pops up with a pointer stick... uhm... ignore the cucumber on his eyes*  
  
"See kids, when I was trying to get Migels hand off my cheek, his foot off my chin, and his elbow off my forehead"  
  
"That musta been unconfortible"  
  
"Dont interupt Miss Author"  
  
"GODDESS, Author, thank you very much"  
  
"Anyways--"  
  
"Well it MUSTA been uncomfortible..."*Goddess Emmy grabs Migel and starts cooing* "Would you like you boo-boos to be kissied wissied better?"  
  
"Hai!!!"  
  
"SHUT UP!! IM TRYING TO EXPLAIN HOW VIOLES THIGH GOT STUCK TO MY CHEEK!!"*Dalet starts waving his arms like a monkey with a hernia*  
  
"Geez... someones anal probe was shoved just a BIT to far!"  
  
"ARGH!!!"  
  
"Kyaa! Come on Migel!"*grabs Migels hand and then Chestas and runs off down the hall* "Dalets gone crazy! Save me Superchesta!!"  
* * *  
And now back to reality... well.... reality in Dragonslayers Day Off world!! *which is very not normal...*  
  
"KYAAA! Get it off! Get it off!"*whimper*Dalet starts bawling and recieves a VERY compassionate bitch-slap... compliments of Guimel... who was lucky to escape the evil face goober stuff.  
  
"SHHHH!!!"Chesta whispers. He peeks around the corner, while Dalet, Viole and Gatti fell quiet... partly because Guimel had his hand clamped over their mouths, he used his foot to shut Dalet up.  
  
"What is it Superchesta?!"Guimel asks in a much-to-exaduarted-interested-voice.  
  
"Folken-De-something-or-other-Fanel!"   
  
"ooooooh"  
  
*THWACK*  
  
Gatti bitch slaps Guimel, who is just TO into everything.  
  
"Superchesta will go make him have an expression!"  
  
Gatti watches as Chesta creeps up behind unsuspecting Folken-sama, and turns to Guimel, whos busy fending Dalets bitch-slaps off "I think you all get WAY to much pleasure out of this" He mutters.  
  
"Hey guuuuuys!!"  
  
"Wazzat?"Viole pokes his head up.  
  
They all look down the hall.  
  
"I BROUGHT MY SNUFFLEUFFAGUS!!!" Migel shrieks like a schoolgirl.  
  
"KYYYYAAAAA!!!!"  
* * *  
alright, please dont flame me... I KNOW its not funny, Im just not in a humerous mood lately, but I had this picture of Superchesta creeping up behind Folken, kinda like Miaka when she sees all that food in the palace after she escaped the gueards and Tamahome is trying to lure them away? Before she meets Hotohorai? WHen she goes peeping up to the table with that look on her face... *snort* *tee hee* I just pictured Superchesta! and imagine all the Ryuugekitai tangled up together, trying to unstick themselves from Dalets face goober stuff. Dont worry, as soon as exams are over, itll be alot more funny... hopefully! =^^= 


	6. Default Chapter

Chesta creeps up behind Folken, intending on jumping on him and yelling something really really scary... like "boogie boogie" or something as equally terrifying.  
  
Suddenly, a loud creeking sound comes from the far left corner, and Chesta scuttles under a table, blinking in suprise.  
  
"Folkie?"A little voice whimpers.   
  
Folken looks up from his experiments and smiles.  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"I cant sleep"  
  
"Oh, well come here"And with that, "Folkie" held out his arms and Dilly-sama shuffles over and hugs him.   
  
Folken sits down on a chair and Dilandau curls up on his lap, sucking his thumb and holding pookie against his pink-bunny-p.j.ed chest.  
  
"Why cant you sleep Dilly-willy-poo?"  
  
"I had a nightmare"Dilandau replies in a tiny voice as he cuddles up against Folken and stares, transfixed at his fluffy booties.  
  
"What was the nightmare about?"  
  
"I dweamed that awl the bunnies in the wowled were eaten by big, scawy hippopotumususes and then all my buddies were twying to save the bunnies and they got eaten too and then I was gonna gets eatened too, but Allen Schezar camed in an savewd me"  
  
"Oh thats an AWFUL dream! Now dont be thinking any more scary thoughts like those anymore."Folken touched the tip of Dilandau's pointy nose and cooed, while smiling in a sickaningly sappy way. "Go to your happy place!"  
  
"Okay..."Dilandau closed his eyes and drew his knees up to his chest, breathing quietly with little whisling sounds everytime he exhaled.   
  
"Now your frolicking in a big green feild, with friendly deer and chipmunks and forest animals everywhere--"  
  
"Are there Bunnies?"  
  
"Yes, theres bunnies"  
  
"Are they happy bunnies?"  
  
"Yes, their happy bunnies"  
  
"Fluffy friendly SMILING bunnies?"  
  
"Yes, fluffy, friendly, smiling bunnies."  
  
"Can they be singing?"  
  
"Hai"  
  
"Can they be singing 'Its a small world after all?'"  
  
"Hai"  
  
"And dancing"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
"And skipping rope and--"  
  
"Yes! Their happy, fluffy, friendly, smiling, skipping, dancing SINGING bunnies!!"Folken says exasdperatingly as he sighs.  
  
Dilandaus eyes pop open. "Are they pink?" 


	7. Dragonslayers Day off, take 7!!

"Drat! Foiled again!"Guimel mutters as he slaps Dalets back.  
  
"Oh shut yer pie hole, sheep-boy"Dalet replies.  
  
"Who shoved the anal probe so far up HIS arse?"Migel whispers as he pokes Superchesta.  
  
"I think it was your freakin Snuffleuffagus"Chesta mutters.  
  
"Hey!"Migel cries in defence. "Dont dis the snuffleuffagussness!"  
  
"Well because of you and that dusty old plushie, WERE stuck scrubbing the floor with out own toothbrushes." Migel recieves a glomp, compliments of Gatti.  
  
After much suspense, the dragonslayers had been dismayed to discover the object of such affection, on Migels part, and terror, on Guimels part... had been a dirty old pink elephant plushie. It looked like a Sesame Street reject and later Guimel insisted that the eyes glowed and tried to take his fluffy hair. In beetween its glowing at Guimel and overly disgustingly adoribly sparkly eyes, it managed to emit one last feebly squeek when Migel hugged it lovingly, alerting "Unkie Folkie" and "Dillykins" of their presence. Thusly the "Drat, foiled again" comment.  
  
"heeey! It was NOT my fault!"Migel whimpers.  
  
"Was to!"  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Was to!"  
  
"was not!"  
  
"Was to!"  
  
"SHUT UP!!!"  
  
Dalet pulls a big giantblow up hammer out of hammerspace and starts to beat the two Dragonslayers mercilessly. Annoying "peep peep peeeeeep squeek! peep!" sounds coming everytime Dalet brought the cheap playtoy down on Migel and Gattis heads.   
  
"DAMN THAT STOOPID SQUEEKIE!!"  
  
Suddenly the blowup hammer finds itself being ripped to shreds by a maniac Guimel.  
  
Chesta starts snickering "There once was a sailor from nantucket"  
  
Gatti ignores Chesta. "Does it remind you of your sheep?"Gatti says smugly as Guimely chews on the rubber.  
  
"WHAT? Where the heck did that come from?! How would that remind ANYONE of sheep?"Dalet and Gatti start arguing and the rest of the dragonslayers walk forward, thoroughly annoyed and overly peeved.  
  
"Im going to ignore them"Migel mimbled as he wanders along, hugging his Snuffleuffagus.  
  
"Im going to save them!"Chesta puffs out his chest and corny music starts playing in the background.   
  
"GACK!! STOP IT SUPERDORK!!"Viole grabs Chesta by his cape and yanks him back.  
  
"Im not alowed to go save them?"Chesta sniffles and stared at Viole sadly.  
  
"Nai"  
  
Chesta sighs and walks along sullenly. Suddenly his face lights up. "Can I go play in traffic!!?!"  
  
"NAI!!!"  
* * *  
Hai, I know, more boringness. Truthfully, Ive TOTALLY lost the knack for funny fanfics. *sigh* but here it is, due to popular demand, more crap from the mind of Goddess Emmy Albatou. Im rotting all your fragile little minds arnt I? *dont take that offensivly* Corrupting with my boringnes... *sigh* ... but I have an idea for the next chapter! =^^= The Ryuugekitai go on a road trip for the afternoon of their day off! =^^= thanks to all who have R & Red my crap I call fanfics, and thanks to everyone who pestered me about making more to this series.  
  
*Goddess Emmy Albatou* 


End file.
